Unconcas: A few rules

If you are going to pretend to be an unconcas (unconscious casualty) then I feel a few rules would be of some use, as most of you are crap at it;

1. Unconscious does not mean, when I bend down and put my hand on your shoulder to 'shake & shout' at you, you moan and groan for effect!

2. Unconscious does not mean, when we are questioning your family and mates, you move position as your arm has gone to sleep, you should have picked a comfy bit of floor to 'collapse' on in the first place.

3. Unconscious does not mean opening one eye to check we are still there when you think we are not watching.

4. Unconscious does not mean letting the ambulance crew see you through the glass door, running down the stairs into the lounge, as we arrive.

5. Unconscious does not mean that you will be let off being nicked, the Police may be fooled but will only call us and we have to check for a pain response at some point, this we are well practised at and depending on how long you try and be 'unconscious' the more it's going to hurt!

6. Unconscious does not mean squinting at the vehicle headlights when we show up to find you on the pavement outside the pub, with lots of concerned people around you.

7. Unconscious does not mean that when you think the game is up and you have been found out, pretending to fit will add anything to your situation, especially when you look like my Dad trying to dance at a wedding on speed.

8. Unconscious does not mean the laws of physics do not apply, when we hold you limp hand over your face and let go, it miraculously falls uphill, away from your face.

9. Unconscious does not mean you flinch, bite down or gag when we try and put the inevitable oral and/or nasal airways.

10. Unconscious does mean you will get the best pre hospital care around for those who need it.